An Answer To A Prayer

For those who know me I am not what you would call...lets just say the picture of health. When Josh proposed to me I gave him, at the time I thought a simple warning that I'm not very healthy and to really think about what it would be like to live with someone that might inconvenience his life. At that point in my life I had been living with Ulceractive Colitis for about 4 years and thought that I have known the worst of it and could handle my lot in life. I was not a stranger to what pain was and could for the most part control the disease by managing what I ate and my stresses. Josh of course pushed aside my advise and told me he loved me. In our 7 years of marriage there has only been ONE complete year that I have not been admitted to a hospital for one reason or another, although there was still doctors visits throughout I don't count those.

About 4 1/2 years ago during my last pregnancy I started having problems with my legs supporting me. For those who have experienced my pregnancies know that they were full of problems. I thought at the time that my leg problem was just another symptom of my pregnancy. The doctor sent me to a neurologist and he ran a few tests and didn't really come up with too much. The leg problem went away about 6 months after Abby was born, but resurfaced a couple of years after. It came on slowly at first. My legs would suddenly give out for a moment and then after resting for a while I could walk again. It steadily got worse and lasted longer, so we decided I should go back to a neurologist about 6 months ago. I had so many tests, the doctor at the beginning started to lean towards MS, after considering a number of other diseases. At that point I no longer cared what it was so much, as long as he just gave me an answer to WHAT was wrong with me. I prayed that I could just have an answer. The struggle of not knowing what is wrong with you and considering that it might all be in your head if they can't tell you, is worse then the pain it's self sometimes. That week I had another MRI. This time it came back with an answer.

I have what is called Chiari type I Malformation (pronounced kee-are-ee). Basically it is thought to be a birth defect in which my skull did not form properly. The bottom portion of my brain is being pushed out the back of my skull and into the top of my spine. This is causing damage to my central nervous system and causing a problem in cerebro spinal fluid flow, which is (from my understanding) the fluid that flows over your brain. This disorder can cause a number of neurological problems. I am a visual person so here is a picture I found to help show:The only way they have found to help it is through surgery. I think for the first few months of knowing this I was so far into denial that I had my own zip code! If it wasn't for my wonderful husband I think I might of just stayed there. I have never seen him more focused and driven on research and finding the best neurosurgeon that could fix me. After weighing all of our options we decided on The Chiari Care Center in Aurora, Colorado.

I thought that after making this big decision that I would just call and be done with it and be on my way to recovery within the same month. I have since learned that my plans do not always go the way I want them to. I waited for 5 weeks and 3 days for them to call me back to make an appointment just for the consultation appointment. Josh is the one that made the call to them. He is the one that got me the soonest appointment he could get out of them. I have a consultation appointment for August 9-11. The surgery will be scheduled after that appointment. I am now figuring that it will not happen until the end of August or in September. My symptoms are steadily getting worse and new ones seem to pop up.

Even though this is not exactly what I thought was going to happen or thought this is how I wanted my prayer to be answered, I am thankful it was answered. And with something that can have an answer. I often tease Josh that his biggest trial in life is being married to me and that if he just took my advise at the beginning that he could of been saved so much trouble. I am thankful that he didn't listen!